I was built to push through pain. I pushed through the pain of loneliness, training throughout my childhood to become an athletic machine. I pushed through the pain of the monotony of being an athletic machine and discovered unique artistry. I pushed through the pain of having my artistry ridiculed and stifled, and entirely escaped abuse. When the pain of the loss of my son arrived, I was ready to push through that, but fate intervened. I was physically crushed by a car. As I pushed through the pain of losing the use of my body, I laid still and I marinated in the mystery and glory of life and death. I found gratitude and compassionate strength. I began pushing with my strength, only to discover that I did not need to push in that way anymore.
I stopped pushing…. and I found peace.