Lucero Speaks

The Only Answer That Matters

// Author: Annetta Lucero // 15 Comments

Jaidon

 

October 2, 1994 was the day I unknowingly enrolled in the most advanced and rigorous educational experience that exists on this planet.   My major was selected by fate, for I never would have intentionally pursued a life degree in:  Parenting A Disabled and Terminally ill Child.

It took 16 years of hard-core, full-load, accelerated course, 24 hour a day/7 days a week, hands-on, intense, internship training; there were no student loans, grants, or scholarships.  I paid the price for my education with my heart, mind and soul.  It was the most precious investment I will ever make.

My son, Jaidon, was born with a condition so rare there are only 4 documented cases in medical history, worldwide.  There were no obvious issues of any kind until he was around 10 months old.  A myriad of exams and lab experiments led to his diagnoses at 2 years old.

Psuedo Metachromatic Leukodystrophy with Mosaic Ringed Chromosome 22 was a tough introductory biology course.  According to his prognosis, he would not live past his fourth birthday.

Living life with such a mysterious diagnoses meant, regardless of how much we researched,  there would always be a mountain of questions that  would remain unanswered.

Jaidon’s father, Joel, had been my high school sweetheart and we were truly two of a kind, (Jaidon’s condition could only have happened if both parents carried the genetic code, which is a 1 in 16 million possibility), but our relationship did not withstand the pressures of higher education.  Our individual ways of dealing with grief contributed to our divorce when he was 5.  We continued as study partners, however, as we navigated the many halls and classrooms of our lives.

For many years the academic demands were overwhelming.  I took on too many credits, and served as curator, librarian, researcher, instructor, school nurse, faculty administrator, janitor and cheerleader.  It was in the midst of this self-assigned chaos, that I came to the true understanding of my enrollment.  Jaidon was 12 years old, and had by now, lost all of his speech and mobility.  Sitting in the presence of my silent son, I noticed the entire universe dancing in his eyes.  The vast awareness in his gaze captured me beyond what can be described in words, and I realized…  he was The Professor, and I, a simple student.

Professor Jaidon was a wise, patient, inspiring, humorous, persistent and kind instructor.  He taught subjects such as compassion, humility, courage, bravery, generosity, positivity and many other lessons including how to walk and speak for two.  He made learning such a rewarding and joyful experience.

As Jaidon’s earthly body deteriorated, the poignancy of each lesson increased, leading me to deeper understandings of who I am and what my purpose for being here is.  While the physical lessons grew more difficult, the answers became simpler and continued to narrow, chipping away at the confusion that initially accompanied this rigorous course.

On March 29, 2011 my Teacher, the humble and brave Professor Jaidon, handed out his biggest assignment.  With his dad and I holding him in our arms, he took his very last breath…  quietly asking us to deliver the only answer that ever mattered.

a. LOVE!

For my esteemed Professor, Master of Life:
Jaidon Alvarez Fetters October 2, 1994 – March 29, 2011

 

 

 

 

15 comments

  1. anita - October 3, 2013 5:27 am

    Beautiful story. True story. Touching sorry. He taught you and the rest of the World The only answer.
    Jaidon was a great person, an example.
    LOVE!

    Reply
  2. Jeanne May - October 3, 2013 12:50 pm

    There are no other words than simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    Reply
  3. Connie Day - October 3, 2013 6:23 pm

    very beautiful

    Reply
  4. Millie J Grams - October 3, 2013 6:48 pm

    Annette, I don’t know if you remember me but I’m Jeremy Grams’s Mom.
    I only saw.Jaidon once when he was very little. He had such a sweet smile and dancing eyes.
    My sympathies to you and Joel on the anniversary of his graduation to Heaven.
    I hope God has given you peace in your hearts and the knowledge you will be reunited one day with this amazing child God blessed you with.

    Reply
  5. Lesa Johnson - October 3, 2013 6:55 pm

    Annetta this is so poignant and heart-touching . I remember watching your Facebook status prior to Jaidon’s passing from this earth, and trying to wrap my head around your life experience .
    You take something heart breaking and transform it into something heart making.
    Keep writing. Keep sharing. Keep living.

    Reply
  6. Annetta Lucero - October 3, 2013 7:05 pm

    Thank you beautiful souls for your support and friendship.
    This journey is a lesson for us all, a constant reminder that we can create a reality of peace, wisdom and love out of any circumstance.

    Sending Gratitude, Love and Aloha to All,

    Reply
  7. Valdeane Odachi - October 3, 2013 8:54 pm

    Another reason why you are such an amazing teacher! It is rare to find parents who believe their children are great teachers! If every parent could know that their child is a tremendous gift it would change the world!

    Reply
  8. Mark - October 3, 2013 11:14 pm

    Through your words, but Jaidon’s actions, I’ve increased my knowledge of what Love is. It was a lesson I wouldn’t have learned from anyone else. Thank you for being his voice an his light! <3

    Reply
  9. Kristy Stewart - October 4, 2013 12:57 am

    Beautiful, Annetta! It’s amazing how the things in life which cause the most pain and grief are the very things that bring the deepest joy and meaning. Our prayers and thoughts are with you, Joel and your kiddos as you remember your sweet angel!

    Reply
  10. Melissa Gettler - October 4, 2013 1:05 am

    Annetta, Jaidon has so deeply touched not only myself and those who knew him but those who know of him because of his beautiful soul and your willingness to share him with all of us. I saw him a few times when he was very young (New Life Christian Center) and over the years I would always ask your mom how Jaidon was. When I found you on Facebook I was so happy and amazed to see that Jaidon was still with us and that he had brothers and a sister….and the courage of you all when he passed on.
    Thank you for allowing me to be part of your ‘family’, it brings me much joy. You and your family are so amazing and amusing!

    Reply
  11. Melissa Gettler - October 4, 2013 1:08 am

    And I just love this picture of him, such a beautiful boy.

    Reply
  12. Val Willman - October 4, 2013 3:10 am

    Beautiful and touching. My favorite part…what he taught to you…and now you teach to us. Blessings my dear friend.

    Reply
  13. carla splinter de zwart - October 4, 2013 5:49 am

    Beautifull words for such a difficult time in your life.
    I think he has had the best mum and dad he could have had.
    I wish you strenght for keep on going your life without him.
    Losing a child ,in what way, is never easy….

    Reply
  14. PegSue - October 5, 2013 12:02 am

    You are truly gifted writer, and a amazingly talented artist to be able to convey the beauty and optimism you experienced while dealing with one of life’s greatest tradegys.
    While we all have our lessons, I don’t know if I could have withstood the agony. My utmost respect to you my dear! Until we meet again!! Much love!

    Reply
  15. BJ Quinn - March 13, 2016 3:04 pm

    the toughest lessons of life always leave holes in our hearts so the sunshine can shine through. By here are no words, other than to say your light is a direct gift from this beautiful boy. So sad for the tragedy of death

    Reply

Have your say