May 2016

What I learned from my son’s last breath

// Author: Annetta Lucero // 1 Comment

My son Jaidon lived a short and powerful life.
He was 16 years old when he took his last breath.
He was my teacher while he was alive.
There was one brief moment that affected me more than any other…
This is what I learned from Jaidon’s last breath:
If I am still breathing, I have to try.
I must live fully.
I must laugh.
I must see things lively.
I must notice beauty.
When he took that last breath, time stood still.
Energy shifted.
Love and sorrow mingled as all of the make-believe mind dramas of this manufactured world melted away.
Then, there was no more Jaidon.
“He” was really gone.
 There was no more struggle or trying.
When I am most distressed over life’s scenarios,
When things seem too heavy, overwhelming, impossibly complicated or hopeless;
I think of my son’s last breath.
His life was such a gift.
My life is a gift as well.
I will eventually experience my last breath.
But, until then…
I’ll try.
(Read Jaidon’s Story HereThe only answer that matters)

Relationships that Complete do not Fail

// Author: Annetta Lucero // 0 Comments

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I no longer expect others to “make” me happy.

It has become obvious to me that what I perceived as the shortcomings in previous relationships, began with me. I chose partners that embodied my own strengths, deficits, entrenched patterns and limitations. The illusory emptiness, confinement, and privation in those relationships, and the pain of ending them, caused me to seek more in myself.

Many consider the ending of a relationship to be a “failure”. I now believe that some relationships are mutually propitious for a lifetime and some are not. Learning what is possible from one another, and then releasing the dependency on the familiar no longer equates to failure for me. It simply means that some relationships can be concluded once all of the benefits and lessons that it had to offer have been experienced. Once there is no more for the participants to lovingly give, do or receive, it is wise to consider that rendition of the relationship complete and move on.

I stayed in some relationships due to the bromidic belief that it was “the right thing to do”.  The drudgery of forcing a relationship for reasons outside of myself, (societal expectations, familial or financial pressures), leaves all involved dissatisfied and miserable with themselves and one another.

Coming to this place of personal understanding has generated fortuitous consequences in my own life. I am able to more acutely see myself as the architect of my own being. The relationships I now nurture are more stable, honest and indelible. The expectations and responsibilities I formerly placed on others have been reintegrated in to a keen awareness of my own self and self-worth.

Releasing the thoughts, habits and compulsions that conscripted others to be responsible for my fulfillment, has brought about the emergence of a ME who is fully capable of loving with ease and grace, and in return I am now receiving the same.