September 2015

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

// Author: Annetta Lucero // 1 Comment

IMG_1317

I was singing loudly, one of my impromptu “happy songs” as I approached the crosswalk. The pretty immigrant women rushed across the street; neat uniform, lovely hair, strained face… nearly distraught.  She glanced at me crooning in the van I had borrowed from my friend minutes earlier, then she turned away, it was time to shift and move on, but my intuition caused me to pause. She stopped and looked back again. With a desperate look in her eyes and a contorted mouth she tripped to my window. I rolled it down and a cold rush of air stung my face. She blurted something in Norwegian, I smiled and told her I spoke English. She gasped and reframed in heavily accented english, “where are you going? Is it near the airport? Is it in that direction?” She pointed wildly, tears beginning to form in her frantic eyes. Without hesitation I said, “it is now, please get in”, and I popped open the passenger side door.
She literally ran and jumped in, immediately bursting into tears. “Oh THANK YOU, THANK YOU, I am so stressed! I have missed the bus, I am so worried to be late for my work, my boss, my boss…” she didn’t finish her sentence. She sniffled as we drove on.
Heavy rain began to fall and she sighed, “LOOK! You have saved me now from being late and from getting wet. I am from Philippines, we pick up the hitchhikers but here it is not possible… you have saved me, you are sent from God!” I grinned and said, “Nah, I’m sent from Hawaii and my hobby is scooping up folks.”
“I SAW you.” she said, “I felt something, like I should ask you for help.” She daintily blotted around her eyes with a tissue.
“I’m so glad you did, I SAW you” I replied, “I think that’s all we have to do to receive what we need… see it, and find the courage to ask.”  She gasped again, “Oh! say some more…” she requested. “I like to imagine that we are all the same person, that there is no judgement causing chasms between people, I am so happy to help you because I think of you as being me.” She began to cry again and said, “You have taken my worry away, I am going to remember you and I know I will see you again.” As we pulled up to the airport curb I said, “I’m Annetta,” she put her hand on my shoulder and said, “my name is Happy. H-A-P-P-Y, thank you, THANK YOU, angel Annetta!”
With that, she ran off towards the airport entrance, leaving me with her very name etched in my heart.

…willing to take it at every angle.

// Author: Annetta Lucero // 1 Comment

IMG_3342

My days are filled with humor, and I want to share some of it with you!

Applying for a residential visa in Norway requires company employment.  A “real job” is something I’ve never experienced aside from a stint at McDonald’s.  My step-father insisted I “learn to work.” I disagreed, and was artfully fired after 2 days.
I have been self-employed since I was 14.  I’ve taught baton twirling and circus, created companies, choreographed productions, presented speeches, worked contracts for Cirque du Soleil, etc. etc.
Now, however, I wake up early, get my kids off to school and ride my bike to a pristine office to do my day job.

I am employed by wonderful people at a huge private pre-school/kindergarten chain in Norway. I accidentally landed my job due to my gift of never censoring my laughter. On a trip to Norway earlier this year, the magnificent people who own the company asked for my opinion about an objectives manual, which had recently been translated from Norwegian to English. Browsing the halted narration I noticed some spelling errors and oddities before hitting the jackpot that ultimately redirected my life.  Written, clear as day, was this sentence:  “Our children are the most sensual children, who are willing to take it at every angle.”  My reaction was not subtle.  In a classic Ned display I laughed far too loud for waaaaaaay too long.
Alarmed, my friends asked if I knew of anyone who could help.  I said I did and the next morning I gave them a re-written brochure.  Upon reviewing my work, I was handed an academic manual and a polite request was made for me to “please fix it”.

Since beginning at the office about 2 weeks ago, I have been translating direct from Norwegian rather than simply fixing the English errors.  I have learned to decipher the written language by memorizing the “floor pattern” of the language like choreography.  When I am stuck I ask co-workers for definitions and I utilize “google translate”…..  which brings me to the reason for this post.  I am amused by the decoding aspects of my assignments, and thrilled by the ridiculous translations that pop up each day.  My co-workers are often curious as to what I have come upon when my laughter echoes through the halls.

Without further adieu, here are real examples of my favorite “google translate” faux pas:

Best of Google T. Faux Pas:

…placing your penis in the flask with your hand while you are nicely speaking to each child, in turn.

…an adult has a burning torch and lights the children one by one.

…the child will be selected as this days ass-kisser / boot-licker and sit on the chair.

There are so many more, but you get the gist from these examples.  I’ve got to get to sleep now so my brain can be clear, refreshed and firing…  Honestly, I can’t wait to get to work in the morning.

Decoding:

Norwegian>  Hvorfor Aktiviteten bevisstgjør barna på hva som fremkaller gode følelser, og de får øvelse i å uttrykke seg i en gruppe.

What google T gave me> Why Activity deliberately makes kids what Evoke good feelings cheaper than its fancy the receive training in Out themelves in a group.

My conclusion> Purpose:  This activity helps children to evoke good feelings and to be comfortable speaking out, in turn, within a group atmosphere.